


My heart to see you

by foreverainism



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Cussing, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverainism/pseuds/foreverainism
Summary: After one year of distance, longing and a lot of texting, Taehyun and Beomgyu finally rencounter. However, they couldn´t have anticipated the emotions that this would unlock- old and new ones.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Kudos: 50





	My heart to see you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! First, I wanted to say that english is not my first language so I apologize for eventual grammatical erros. But regardless I hope you enjoy this fanfiction. If you like it, make sure to leave a comment! I´ll take criticism too, just be nice :) I hope you enjoy!

Taehyun could still feel Beomgyu with him, even though they had been apart for a few hours now. Just the thought of Beomgyu´s smell, laughter, touch, warmth was enough to make him giggle. "Oh no." he thought as soon as he realized what that meant. His heart started racing, his ears were suddenly as hot as his cheeks and, on his mind, only one name. His name.

"What? Yeonjun´s with me now so..."

"Oh okay, now i'll stall even more." Taehyun said on the other side of the line. Ever since Soobin started dating Yeonjun, their phone calls became shorter. "That gay bastard." he thought with a smile. 

"But... is kind of an emergency. A sentimental one.” He added, embarrassed

Soobin laughed "What?? I didn't know you had those, how embarrassing for you." he teased. "But what's going on, talk to me. And just so you know, Yeonjun is also laughing at you right now."

This was enough to make Taehyun feel more comfortable and relaxed. He took a deep breath and started talking.

"You know Beomgyu right?" 

Silence.

"If I know the guy who we've been friends with for more than 5 years? Doesn't ring a bell. Of course I know him, dumbass, get to the point, we´re not hanging up until we approach this."

"What you probably don't know is that I´ve had a crush on him since day one. But I kind of concealed it and I thought the feeling had gone away. But, as it turns out, it hasn't, so that's fun."

"What made you think it had gone away?" Yeonjun barged in and asked.

"Beomgyu went on an exchange program for a year, so we naturally drifted apart, at least compared to how we were, and when he came back, I thought I was just happy I got to see my best friend again." Taehyun was now on the verge of crying, too many feelings swirling in his head and heart.

"We were together today, just the two of us, and it felt like no time had passed at all" and I can't help but think that the two of us just fit perfectly together, that there's no one else in the world I´d rather be with, that he's the only one that truly understand me- he completed mentally.

"Damn, what did you do on that date?" Soobin asked and Taehyun´s mind was brought back to a few hours earlier.

Taehyun was thrilled. He basically video-called Beomgyu 364 times in their time apart. They talk everyday even if just for a few minutes So the fact that he would actually see Beomgyu after all this time was more than enough to make him levitate.

They met at a park, a really beautiful one, but there was nothing prettier than him. His dark and soft and shiny hair reflected the not-as-bright-as-him sun. His cheeks were red-ish from walking and he was sitting on the grass, his eyes closed like he was posing for a painting.

Taehyun almost couldn't speak, afraid that it would break the spell, he wanted to capture that image and keep it close to his heart. But Beomgyu saw him and immediately screamed, the soft scenery turned into a mess of screams and hugs.

"I missed you too, now you can let go of me, Gyu, I´m not going anywhere without you." Taehyun said as he grabbed Beoomgyu´s hand.

"Yeonjun asked me to say, and I quote, he's so whipped for Beomgyu, unquote." Soobin said, failing to hold his laughter back.

"Tell me something I don't know. I'm not sure why I called you, I guess it's because I've never liked someone like this. Well, except that I've liked him for a long time... You get it." Taehyun said.

"If you want my advice you should try to figure out if he likes you back." 

"That's gonna be difficult considering that I'm his best friend, so if he has a crush, he'd tell me, but he hasn´t said anything."

"Unless he has a crush on you." Yeonjun suggested. 

"Taehyun, I can almost feel you blushing and smiling on the other side of the line. Could you just maybe tone it down?? Your gayness is affecting me." Soobin interrupted

"Says the guy who was whining and praising Yeonjun for months until he had the guts to talk to him." Taehyun smiled at Yeonjun screaming and laughing.

"I'm hanging up now." said Soobin in a serious voice .

"Did he call you?" Heuningkai asked with a bored voice.

"Yeah, he kept talking about his feelings, it was disturbing really, hearing him talk about how he has a gay crush on Beomgyu." Soobin answered, also manifesting boredom.

"Wait, what?" Hyukai's tone changed abruptly, he sounded utterly confused.

"What do you mean what? What are you talking about?" 

"What are YOU talking about? I'm talking about how Beomgyu called me after meeting Taehyun and how he couldn't shut up about how, and I quote, he's cute, has the prettiest smile,the softest hand, and the probably smoothest lips." HeuningKai said.

"No fucking way. Babe, you're never gonna believe this."

"Oh great, Yeonjun is here with you. I wonder if we'll ever not have to witness the two of you being grossly in love."

"Yep,not gonna happen." Yeonjun interrupted

"Don't get distracted, Kai, stay with me. You're telling me that Beomgyu has a crush on Taehyun. And I'm telling you that Taehyun has a crush on Beomgyu...."

"What are you planning?" Heuningkai asked with a mischievous laugh.

They were all sitting on Heuningkai's sofa. The five of them and the approximately 15 plushies. Heuningkai and Soobin were whispering and giggling and Taehyun and Beomgyu couldn't help but exchange confused looks. Yeonjun finally threw a plushie at the two of them, hoping that they would understand how obvious their scheming was. 

"So what do y'all want to watch?" Yeonjun asked, already tucking himself in his boyfriend's arms, as if Soobin was a blanket and he wanted to be entirely covered by it.

"Anything is fine. As long as it's not anything scary." Beomgyu answered, making a baby voice that got everyone laughing.

"Well, I'm sure someone here would love to hold your hands if you're scared." Kai said, his dolphin laugh barely contained.

"Ok, I'll choose it." Yeonjun replied quickly, wanting to smack the maknae and his lack of intelligence.

They were planning on leaving Taehyun and Beomgyu alone in the house, maybe locked in the room? (Soobin's idea) and Soobin and HeuningKai couldn't contain their matchmaking thrill. Which made Yeonjun in charge of the whole (terrible, dumb, ridiculous) situation.

"Hey Taehyun, Beomgyu, could you fetch something in my room for me?" Heuningkai asked.

"In the middle of the movie?? And the two of us??" Taehyun inquired, confused.

"Why don't you go?" Beomgyu added.

"He can't, he's making popcorn for us." Soobin replied. 

"Just go already." Yeonjun begged, hopeless.

"Ok, weirdos."

They entered the slightly messy room, Taehyun ahead of Beomgyu.

"What the fuck??" Beomgyu said when he heard the door locking.

"Wait...what were we supposed to get??" Taehyun asked, his back turned to Beomgyu, who was trying to open the door.

"I can't believe this. Kai, make no mistakes, I will murder you." Beomgyu whispered in panic through the door.

"You'll thank me later!" The excited maknae's voice reached Beomgyu on the other side.

"I tried talking them out of it. I really did." Yeonjun sounded tired, but slightly amused.

"You're all done-" Beomgyu was interrupted by Taehyun, who finally noticed that something was off.

Beomgyu gasped. Taehyun was really close to him, he could see the sparkles in the younger's eyes.

"We're kind of locked in here." He broke it to him.

"What?" Taehyun's heart started racing. Him. Alone. In a room. With Beomgyu. This was enough to even distract him from what the others had done. He even seemed to have forgotten how to properly talk.

"So..." Beomgyu looked at Taehyun, just to look away one second later in embarrassment.

"Any idea why they would've done this?" Taehyun asked casually.

"Probably just to prank us...maybe to try and make us kiss." Beomgyus' voice cracked in the last sentence and he sounded like an eagerly excited teenager, his attempt of joking a failure. Taehyun's nervous laugh was in no way less awkward. 

"Can you imagine...us...kissing" he suggested, slowly, scamming the other´s reaction.

In fact, Beomgyu could imagine. Very graphically. And he had been imagining for a few weeks now. He kept finding himself thinking frequently about the boy in the room with him. As the day of his trip back home approached, he was longing more and more to meet Taehyun. The thought of him would make Beomgyu's heart warm and cozy, almost like he was his home, not Korea. That day in the park was a turning point for Beomgyu, he couldn't ignore the butterflies in his stomach, his dry mouth, the sparkle that insisted on putting his whole body on fire whenever Taehyun touched him.

Beomgyu sat on the bed next to Taehyun. They mutually avoided looking at each other in the eyes, afraid of what they could find in it. Suddenly, Taehyun felt a pressure in his hands. Beomgyu's hand was timidly approaching, his fingers intending to entangle his own, but he was hesitant. Taehyun started moving his hand as well, compelled by the warmth and softness of Beomgyu's. When their hands were finally entangled tightly together, they finally looked at each other.

Beomgyu's pupil was dilated and his dark eyes seemed to be immersed in water, because they were shimmering like diamonds. His breath was unstable, his mouth slightly open, gasping for air. He seemed to be under a spell, as if any movement would break the illusion and make Taehyun drift apart. But Taehyun could never. He felt his heart on his throat, palpitating like crazy, and yet he couldn't take his eyes, his mind, his heart from Beomgyu's features. The more he stared, the more certain he was. Without any of them actually acknowledging it, the gap between them grew smaller, and smaller, until they were a few inches apart, like some kind of magnet or magic was attracting them. Taehyun put his hand on Beomgyu's neck, who almost stopped breathing when he felt the touch. He pulled him closer, Taehyun could feel Beomgyu's eyelashes on his cheeks, it tingled. They were so close now, one more movement and their lips would touch and God knows what would happen then.

But a sudden noise made them jump, and move to opposite sides of the bed, startled like they had been slapped into reality.

"Sorry, sorry if I'm interrupting something, but I just need to get this plushie, I can´t watch movies without it, so hand me over and I'll be on my way." HeuningKai said in an anxious and sorrowful voice, his hand covering his eyes. 

Taehyun and Beomgyu's cheeks were both on fire, their eyes wide opened refusing to contact each other. They went away, leaving the room with a very sorry HeuningKai and a lot of tension.

"How many times will I have to apologize? I'll just keep going until you stop me or forgive me." Soobin begged for the 10000th time.

Taehyun merely looked at him, eyes cold as ice. 

"Maybe when you convince Beomgyu to at least look at me??"

"I'm... working on it." Hyukai said with uncertainty in his voice.

To tell the truth, their group friends were undeniably divided. Soobin and Yeonjun were trying to reach the ice-queen Taehyun, who kept acting distant and formal. And Hyukai were in charge of a damp, melancholic Beomgyu.

Beomgyu kept replaying the scene in his head, his dim, gloomy room a reflection of his mood. How could they have gone from fireworks almost coming out of their hearts to this glacial, awkward situation? An embarrassment so intense it seemed that they couldn't breathe whenever they were near each other.

This sudden sense of strangeness tightened Beomgyu's heart, clenching it without mercy, only to leave him motionless in his bed, reminiscing.

Taehyun was frustrated. To say the least. He was so close to kissing the boy of his dream, who, shockingly, was reciprocating and, at the blink of an eye- or at the voice of an HeuningKai- it was all shattered like thin glass, blown away like the delicate petals of a dandelion in the wind.

His practical mind had been numbed to the point of not being able to think of how to fix the situation. Soobin's attempt to make things right only made it worse. Their meddling was bittersweet- without it they wouldn't have shared that moment (yes, it was mostly awful, but Taehyun wouldn't forget the desire in Beomgyu's eyes, the yearning). Rationally, they weren't to blame, they didn't make Beomgyu push him away, but it was better to be mad at them, then to face the possibility that the two boys wouldn't even speak again.

"Ok, Soobin, you should really mind your own business. If you had...." Yeonjun was interrupted by Soobin's eye rolling.

"You can make that face, but it doesn't change the fact that you can't control other people's lives nor you should. Are you that bored with me?" He teased, a sly smile growing in his plump lips. He started stroking Soobin's soft, dough-like cheeks and kissed him on the nose. "Just let them take a break of each other, I'm sure eventually they will realize that they want to kiss and grow some balls to act on it"

"But.... Why are they so dumb? They clearly like each other. Why can't they just kiss?" Soobin exclaimed, annoyed, making Yeonjun laugh.

"Not everyone is as shameless as me to just ask you out and kiss you on the first date. It happens."

"You're like...so cool, wanna date?" Said Soobin to his boyfriend.

"You see? They could never be permanently at your cute face." 

"You underrated Taehyun." 

"No, I overrated you."

"Please??Pretty please, hyung??" HeuningKai begged with his best im-too-cute-for-a-no face.

"Not like you have a lot of credit to ask for things" Beomgyu replied.

"I know, i know, God, I'm just insisting, because I know it will make you feel better. I know how you love dressing up." 

"I couldn't be in a lower party mood. But you make a fair point, I can be sad and cute." The older considered.

"Great!! We can meet there, I'll text you the address" HeuningKai said as he left Beomgyu's house. He had been feeling really guilty this past few days, doing everything that he could to help out Beomgyu and Taehyun. This really wasn't any of his or Soobin's plans, they genuinely wished to cheer up the boys a little bit and maybe they wouldn't even met at the party. This was okay.

Taehyun arrived at the party already wishing he'd never left his home. The loud music and cheerful people made him want to turn back, get in bed and eat his feelings off. But there was no way Soobin and Yeonjun would let him do it. Yeonjun was already dancing to the rhythm of the song, the colourful lights making him look very hypnotizing and attractive. Soon, Soobin forgot all about Taehyun and joined the eldest. Taehyun tried to find somewhere quiet in that sea of people, drinks and lights, finally entering an empty room on the second floor and just laying on the bed, his thoughts somewhere - someone- else.

"I'm not sure that's your best idea." HeuningKai said, his expression tainted with hesitation and concern.

"I'm not here to have good ideas." Beomgyu said while wiping the dripping drink from his chin. He drank another concentrated and colourful drink, ignoring HeuningKai's words. He already felt tipsy, a comfortable warmth dominating his body, while his mind grew lighter, like his worries (and social restraints) were washed away by the drinks.

"Oh, shit, Beomgyu is here" Yeonjun eyes were caught off by Beomgyu's wild dancing. He was clearly drunk, moving to a rhythm definitely not dictated by the music in a weird, energetic way.

"This isn't gonna end well, what should we do?" Soobin whined, getting anxious.

"Ok, I'll try to find HeuningKai, Beomgyu must have come with him and you go find Taehyun."

The euphoria didn't last long. Beomgyu tried dancing, drinking more, kissing people he had never seen before, but he still felt sad, frustrated and alone. His vision was as blurry as his reeling mind. That added to his emotional imbalance was not doing much for him.

"Kai was right, what a surprise." he said, going upstairs to find somewhere to lay down and wait until he sobered up. He was way too drunk and the room was way too dark for him to tell who was also laying in bed. He let his now really heavy body fall on the bed, startling whoever was next to him.

"Hi, bestie." Beomgyu said, laughing idiotically. "Nooo, bestie is a trigger word, I should call you anything else. I'll just go with Stranger. Maybe I should be able to tell who you are?? Can drunk people do that? I don't know what the protocol is." He sounded distant like a distracted child.

The other person didn't answer, but Beomgyu could see their chest going up and down as they breathed, the moon light illuminating the shape of their body very delicately, forming a halo almost.

"Ok, you're a quiet one. Good, so you'll just listen, maybe you can give me some advice." The words were flying out of Beomgyu's mouth, his mind failing to keep up, to the point where he wasn't sure if he was talking out loud or just mentalizing the words.

"I have this friend. Had. I don't know anymore. Anyway, we've been friends for a few years, but I went away and, even though we grew apart a little, I just came back and realized that I have feelings for him. Maybe I've always had. It's just that seeing him after all this time... I don't know my heart just raced at his sight, and butterflies, all of that crap. To be honest, I thought it was all fairy tale bullshit, but ,damn, those stories are accurate." 

Beomgyu wouldn't notice but the other person's chest started moving faster as their heartbeat increased.

"But I didn't know if he felt the same, and I didn't wanna mess up our friendship, so I said nothing. But then.... Are you with me? Actually, it's better if you're not, I'm opening my heart to a stranger, this is already too embarrassing."

The stranger´s silver aura trembled with a light laughter, which Beomgyu noted.

"I'm glad my suffering entertains you. Where was I? Oh yeah, the best part of this sad story. My great friends thought it was a good idea to lock us both in a room until.... actually, I'm not sure what they hoped for. But the thing is, as we were in the room, I don't know, something happened, I can't explain how, but suddenly I was 3 inches away from his lips and I was so drawn to it, one more move and we would be kissing, it was all I wanted and apparently what he wanted too- still can't wrap my head around this but ok." Beomgyu let out a frustrated sight and his fists hit the soft mattress making their bodies move slightly. "And then Kai... Oh, you don't know who he is. So, Kai is also a close friend of ours. He's like a human golden retriever, I love everything about him, except those damn plushies." His tone suggested that he was talking about a nemesis, not cute stuffed animals.

"Long story short, we got interrupted and nothing will ever be the same, because I messed everything up thinking that we would actually kiss, he must probably hate me by now and is too pitiful to say it to my pathetic face." Beomgyu didn't realize his eyes tearing up, unsure if the tears were a product of the drinking, of what had happened or both. But he suddenly felt really small and angry and kind of wished that the stranger would comfort him, maybe hold him? (the wishes of the drunk mind). He couldn´t verbalize any of his thoughts, because he suddenly felt sick, everything was spinning even though he was laying down still.

"Oh god, I'm gonna be sick." he rushed to the bathroom and after that he couldn't remember anything, except for a gentle hand caressing his hair while he threw up.

"And then I saw you when I was trying to find Beomgyu-" Kai was interrupted by the sudden vision of a hangover Beomgyu. Not only hungover, but slightly heartbroken, so his appearance was not flattering at all. His hair all messed up, his eyes barely open in the sunlight, his movements very similar to a zombie's- you could say that his looks were a perfect match of his interior. 

"What happened?" His throat was sore and dry as sand, Beomgyu sounded like someone who hadn't spoken in quite some time.

"Where do I even begin..." Kai started lecturing. "Nevermind, what really matters is that I found you in the bathroom, passed out, and had to carry you to the car and put you to bed...and you didn't make it easy for me." He sounded really annoyed, a look not often seen in the maknae. 

"To be honest, I'm just happy that I didn't die in that party."

Soobin and Yeonjun exchanged concerned looks.

"About that...." Soobin started, but it seemed like he didn't intend on completing the sentence. 

"Oh no, what did I do?"

"What didn't you do? You probably kissed half the party and threw up in the bathroom later, if it weren't for-" He interrupted himself.

"Just tell me already." Beomgyu was starting to get impatient, the way he had lost control, aside from his headache and his vague friends, was enough to make him feel ashamed.

"There's someone who wants to talk to you."

While he knocked on the door, Taehyun thought of a thousand ways for this to go wrong. Yes, he had planned a speech, which was rewinding in his head since he left his house. 

"Taehyun." Beomgyu sounded surprised, his heart palpitating. His voice was nothing more than a whisper, but it seemed really loud in Beomgyu's head- he was already feeling inappropriate and embarrassed, although he didn't know why.

They went to Hyukai's room, expecting that the place had a worse memory than they had and didn't hold on to that terrible situation- like they did.

"I didn't think you'd want to speak with me." Beomgyu had his arms crossed around his chest, as if he wanted to occupy as little space as possible, his head was facing the floor. Taehyun looked at him, a longing look crossed his face, only to be quickly replaced by a hurt and anxious expression.

"Yes, I thought the same."

"Why wouldn't I want to speak with you?" 

"Oh, they didn't tell you what happened?" A smile crossed Taehyun lips, giving him a more serene and calm look. "Who do you think took care of you yesterday while you threw up? Or listened to your random confession?"

Beomgyu was speechless. He honestly didn't think his situation could get any worse. But then again, he had drunk-confessed his feelings to the person he liked without even knowing about it and, after that, the same person had seen him throw up and, shockingly didn´t abandon him after that. Taehyun probably noticed his dread, because he came closer, his eyes gentle and appealing.

"It's okay, really."

Beomgyu was covering his face with his hands, refusing to face the facts.

"I cannot believe this. How did i manage to fuck this up more?"

He felt a touch and Taehyun's hands reached his own and slowly took it off from the older's face, revealing hot and red cheeks. Then, Beomgyu felt his heart beating at the point where they touched, but at the same time he felt calmer. Taehyun was almost vibrating comfort, making Beomgyu feel calmer with his soft voice and firm, yet gentle touch.

"I don't know what to say. Everything has been so confusing lately. I didn't know it was you then, of course I didn't, or else I could never have said that." 

"Ok, then I'll talk. Did you really mean what you said? I really wish you did, because I feel exactly the same. Maybe a little bit more. Beomgyu-hyung, when I saw you that day at the park I just knew, you were the prettiest thing in the scenery. I only had eyes for you, it was almost impossible to let go of that hug, I seriously could leave in your arms. When we touch, even if by mistake, it feels like a burn, but a very comforting one, one that doesn't harm me, but makes me feel at ease. You have that effect on me, you live in my mind rent free, you always have, I was just better at hiding it, from you, from myself. But there's no point in hiding it anymore, because I just want to scream at the top of my lungs that I like you. I really, really, really like you. And at this point I don't even care if things get weird between us, but i just couldn't not tell you, because everytime I see you my heart almost explodes into glitter or butterflies or whatever." Taehyun was out of breath after this, unsure of what to do next. He looked over at Beomgyu and was surprised.

The elder wasn't angry, or embarrassed- he looked really confident, resolute.

It was with his eyes sparkling with courage, that Beomgyu took a step closer. And another. And another until they were so close Beomgyu could count every breath Taehyun was gasping for. He placed his hands on the younger's cheeks, which felt like touching a rose's petal. With his face between Beomgyu's hands, Taehyun couldn't not look at his eyes. His eyes were on fire, shimmering like it had a whole constellation in it. Taehyun was magnetized by it, and he tried to think only of them, pushing aside his worries and insecurities. Beomgyu drew him closer, putting his hand on Taehyun's waist so there was no space between them and Taehyun's heart skipped a beat. 

"I really did mean all of it." Taehyun couldn't respond if he wanted to, because suddenly he felt Beomgyu's lips on his, pressuring very delicately, as if he was afraid of breaking it. Taehyun instantly reciprocated the kiss, entangling his hands on Beomgyu's hair and pulling him even closer- if that was possible. The kiss felt like a thousand fireworks exploding, like a thousand bottles of champagne bursting open, like flowers blooming. 

"His lips are the softest" they thought, the both of them drunk on each other, almost melting in each other's hand (or lips, to be more precise) and passing out of euphoria and excitement. After what felt like a lifetime and a second, they stopped. Both of them were out of breath, their lips hot and red like the rest of their bodies. They broke into a laugh at the same time, they felt like waking up from a dream, it was all too much for them to not be reduced to embarrassed giggling and hugging.

"I can believe I actually kissed you." Taehyun said,his eyes glowing like gold, a timid, but thrilled smile on his lips. He kissed Beomgyu again, just to make sure it was real. 

"Then I'll just keep kissing you until you believe it."


End file.
